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Nørde-vits (part II)

Forum: Generelt

#1 - nick - Tuesday 07-05-2002 kl. 20:00

"There exist only 10 kinds of people: the ones that know about binary numbers, and the ones that dont."

#2 - nick - Monday 20-05-2002 kl. 20:00

Lidt flere ikke nørdede jokes :
-------------------------------
Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court
before the judge.
The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a
second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and
try to show others the evils of drug use and pursuade them to give up drugs
forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."

Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one,
"How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people
to give up drugs forever." "17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell
them?"
"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o
and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this
(small circle) is your brain after drugs."

"That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?" (to the 2nd
guy)
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever." "156
people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that!" "Well, I used the
same two circles. I pointed to the small circle and told them, 'This is your
asshole before prison...."

---

A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the
wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the
biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to
go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is
going to cost us."

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm
voice said, "Come on in."

When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass
was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side
near the broken window.

A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke
my window?"

"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see,
I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now
that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you
each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."

"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and
blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can
do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"

And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked. "I'd
like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the
world," she said.

Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be
safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"

"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with
a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your
wife."

The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we
both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"

She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're
right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about
you, honey?"

"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the same
for you!"
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of
the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. After about
three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into
her eyes and asked "How old are you and your husband?"

"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
"No kidding! Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in
genies?"

#3 - KÃ¥re - Tuesday 04-06-2002 kl. 20:00

Ikke dårligt - de mangler bare lidt d/dnoget.

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